I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
