at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
