I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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