Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
