I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I look better un-naked...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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