So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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