There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
