If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
