doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
