it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
