is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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