we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
