OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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