it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
