How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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