Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
