So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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