you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
