Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
