So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize