Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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