Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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