he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
