OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dignity is for republicans.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
