Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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