i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's always time for handjobs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
