How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
