i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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