I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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