I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
