I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
