capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
