The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
