Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
