4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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