I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
