I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
