google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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