Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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