Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
