evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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