WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize