i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
