Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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