so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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