toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
