and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
