My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
