a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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