Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
