It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
