I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
