i don't like sucking hair
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
