Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
