my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
