Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
