I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
