is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
