one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
