Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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