can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
