honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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