Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize