Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
