I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
