you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
