This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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