I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
