thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
