yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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