Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
