my shit smells like andre
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
soo... how was my night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
