What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
