I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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