Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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